Speaking of public transport…

July 21, 2006 at 9:29 pm (Uncategorized)

bus2.jpg This photo is from busphotos.com (I was too scared to browse further but have forwarded the names of those concerned to the relevent authorities) 

National Express bus drivers… where do they recruit them from? I suspect they must clone them in some kind of Cabbage Patch Kid way. They’re all different but really they’re all the same and they’re all grumpy with no customer service skills and have what I think is a pre-recorded range of favourite sayings (possibly activated via a pull cord in their back although that has not yet been proven) with phrases such as “turn that music off” and “If you’re longer than five minutes we’re going without you”.  

Highlights include a driver trying to leave an Arsenal fan at a service station somewhere in Wales whilst we were en route to the F.A. Cup Final as he was not back on time, although there was a passenger revolt and the driver was forced to reverse and someone ran in to look for the latecomer (I was happy to leave him there purely on the basis that he was an Arsenal fan but I was outvoted). Another favourite was on an overnight coach from
Milton Keynes. At about half three in the morning we heard a thump but thought nothing of it until one of the passengers approached the driver and said the side luggage door had opened. The coach stopped and they closed the door before resuming the journey but the same passenger walked to the front again and said a case had dropped out when the door opened (why he thought not to mention this in the first place is anyones guess). We then had to turn round and go several miles back down the road until the lost suitcase was found in the outer lane of a big roundabout. I hope there was nothing fragile in the case…..

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