Friday 16th June 06

June 16, 2006 at 1:52 pm (Uncategorized)

Did you know that the Black Eyed Peas’ drummer is called Keith Harris? Alas, not that Keith Harris. Think about it. How could he drum properly with a bird on one arm?

Speaking of the Peas, I went to see them Wednesday gone at Manchester Arena and I am sure I was not the only one there suffering feelings of dejavu (if only I could spell it…) for it was exactly the same show that they did at Manchester Apollo in December. Same costumes, lines and everything. Bit of a cheek if you ask me. But not only that, they had ‘BEP 05’ t shirts on sale in the lobby. I am sure I was not the only one consulting the calendar.  

Tales from the peasant wagon top deck

An annoying young ruffian was blasting the tunes this morning for all to hear. You would not mind if they were listening to proper music but a few pings here and there with a monotone rap at 345mph over the top of it does not make a tune. Innit. This morning we were treated to the delights of a version of ‘Going Underground’ with a twist. The twist being that it was about the London Underground. And it had the occasional naughty swear word in it too to add to the incredible humour. And how we all laughed at the hilarity of it all. Though we were not laughing on the third play in a row as we busied ourselves cutting out letters out of discarded Metro papers and rearranging them to spell the words ‘have you heard of headphones you heathen?’

It’s a football thing? Now the World Cup would be good if it was just about the football. Yes, the football. Not the girlfriends and wives and what they are wearing (we don’t care), not demented fools in their ‘Do the Crouch’ t shirts (we don’t care and you look stupid), and not made in China car flags with a lion in each corner. “Three lions on the shirts”. And one for luck it seems.  

Though having been otherwise engaged at the time of the England v Trinidad and Tobago match I found myself walking through M&S to the bus station who, helpfully, had installed a small telly in the middle of their shop. And, yes, there was a baying mob forming to watch. A mixture of workmen and blokes in England replica shirts all choosing to watch this important fixture in the midst of the M&S tie section.

Though quite what the old lady nearby prodding the peaches for signs of bruising thought of the occasional grunting and sounds of despair from the tie section is anyone’s guess.  

Ah don’t you love the British people…

(sure to be an ongoing series)…

This lunchtime in Subway I ask for a cheese sandwich. Girl behind the counter replies “would you like that with cheese”. Erm… yes it would help.

What’s new?

I am going organic. Oh aye, it’s all go round here. A full report on the exciting organic range available in my local Morrisons will be coming soon you lucky people.

At the moment the great topics of debate include…

What to buy with my £5 CD Wow voucher?

Whoever told Peter Crouch he was a Premiership footballer?

What exactly is the point of George Galloway?

Why is ‘Shami Sarci Bati’ on the Question Time panel every second week?

This weeks must buy…

The Apprentice series 5 on DVD. And an exciting fact for you courtesy of today’s Metro. Do you know that Donald Trump dislikes shaking hands with all and sundry? Apparently because hands are the carriers of so many germs (he carries a packet of wipes with him at all times for this very purpose).  There’s an untapped market there. Trump Wipes. Get on it.


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